Re-downloading Tinder after a breakup can feel like a rite of passage. When you’re ready for this step in your healing process, swiping right can serve as a cathartic reminder that there are plenty of fish in the sea. The profiles you come across can deliver an effective distraction, and matching with strangers can feel empowering — until an all too familiar face pops up on your screen. So, what should you do if you see your ex on a dating app? This is a painfully common post-break-up experience for many people in our tech-savvy society. One that can leave us hurt and confused about what to do next.
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If You See Your Ex On A Dating App Before You’re Ready, Here’s What To Do
Breaking up is hard to do. Being constantly reminded of the person who broke your heart can be even harder. Back in the day, things were simpler. All you had to worry about was IRL run-ins, but now there are a thousand online minefields you have to avoid. Sure, you can block them on Facebook and Snapchat, but that won’t stop them from popping up on the very last online platform you’d want to see them.
Yeppp, dating apps.
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My Ex Is On A Dating Site Already And I Don’t Know What To Do!
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A common reaction to seeing your ex on Tinder can be the freshly single and still hurting, when I suddenly saw my own face on my screen.
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Running Into Your Ex on an Online Dating Site
Online dating profiles are anonymous. You make up a screen name. But you do post pictures of your pretty little face. I of course didn’t think about this until my ex boyfriend from senior year of high school messaged me on OkCupid.
As I stared at her Tinder profile, tapping through the pictures one by one, reading her bio out loud, and constantly reminding myself that I ended things, my thumb quivered in indecision. She looked incredible. Her selfie game was fantastic — always has been. Now I admired her boldness, her beauty, and was filled with regret. I jammed the home button, paced around my apartment, and deleted Tinder only to redownload it later that night.
Once again, she was gone. It only takes a quick glance for everything to come flooding back: the feel of their hair between your fingers, that part of your body they always touched in public, or the little hum they made while in a deep sleep. Deeply notice their primary picture. Are they wearing something you gave them? If so, skip forward to step five. If not, move on to step two. If not, move on to step three. Read their bio. If anything or anyone you introduced them to is referenced, skip forward to step five.
Tinder’s Most Notorious Men
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My ex still loves me but is dating someone else. We all else. Just in his test of many. Just in love? Seeing your ex contacting you. Knowing that changed my life.
It almost feels just like bumping into your ex in person. So, what do you do? I, for one, am terrified of seeing my ex in person, but I would still be fascinated if I did see them. After you stop in your tracks and try to appear cool, calm, and collected, your natural instinct when you see your ex in person will probably be to watch them. What are they doing? Who are they with? Do they seem happy?
Likewise, seeing your ex on a dating app is just as unexpected. Take deep breaths. Be cool. They are right there in front of you.